Fondue for two with a view

“As soon as I saw you I knew an adventure was going to happen.” 
Winnie the Pooh

Sunday August 7, 2016
Day 80
Luzern, Switzerland

What an amazing weekend.
Every weekend seems to get better and better.
Though this one left me with a heavy heart and I couldn’t help but feel truly sad on the train home.

It’d been a long time since I felt such intense feelings… Let someone into my world… … Let them captivate my heart…

He took me to this cabin way up on a mountain side with a view of the alps. It was supposed to take 2 hours.. It took us nearly 4… There were step ups as high as my waist… There were sheep with sheep bells… Cows with cow bells… Muddy, wet, sticky bits of the pathway… Lush green pasture bits with wildflowers… Bits with a thick, soft carpet of downed leaves in the middle of a forest full of mossy trees… It lasted forever.. But I loved it… I felt myself getting stronger.. I was in the woods not the city… I felt alive skipping about in nature and dipping my feet in the waterfalls we happened across…

Once we finally arrived, our legs burning with the intensity of the uphill climb, I teetered on the edge of wanting to curl up and take a long nap right there in the grass and frolicking around, exploring and taking in the views from all around the cabin.

We ended up talking and drinking wine while I scoured the hillside for the tiny, yet scrumptious, wild strawberries that littered the area, digging my fingers in the bushes, in the soil, careful not to disturb the stinging nettle.

Fondue. For two. With a view. omg wow.

Combining melty cheese. Fresh bread. Wine. And he threw in a couple pears to dip in the fondue as well.. I thought it peculiar, but the mix of the cold and sweet pear mixed with the warm, savory cheese… Mmmm

Outside, We sat on a little ridge just behind the cabin and there we spent the rest of the evening. Watching the sky change colors. The dark, clouded sky part to reveal a breathtaking view of the twinkling stars above.

And we talked. Ohhh how we talked. About this and that. Deep things. Silly things. Travel stories. Hopes and wishes. Childhoods. The planets. The stars. German vs Swiss German. All the things.
He tried to teach me shooting star in German. I need to remember that word. Sternschnuppe. My word for us. We saw a few that night.

The breeze picked up to a brisk wind and we went inside the cabin. No electricity. My favorite. It was dark and cold. He built a fire and we huddled around it, talking more and more and sharing songs.. Falling deeper and deeper in warmth, not just from the fire but from this kind soul in front of me.

I will be forever grateful for him for providing me with all the feelings and emotions these past two weekends brought on.  I thank him forever. It brought me hope… That someone is still willing to spend the time to get to know me and act in such a way to make me feel wanted…Interesting.. Safe… If only for a couple days…

It’s been a long Europe trip and I’ve been having difficulty finding people I connect with. So being around him set my soul on fire.

And with a sad heart I leave Luzern behind. Him behind.

I told him, only half joking, that I would love to come back next Monday for a couple days while he worked…. Cook, clean, have a set place to plan my Cambodia trip… Then I’d head off Wednesday to Germany? Italy? Croatia?

Could he do that for me? Would he even want such a silly thing? But at the same time I am tempted to keep it just these 2 perfect weekends. Wrapped up in this perfect little concise package.

But I am pretty addicted to his stories, his kindness, his adventurous spirit, his rebelios streak, his bit of a British accent, his German, his knowledge deep and vast on so many subjects.. not just his actions.. Because anyone could do the things he did… it was the fact that it was him that did all those things…

Too much to think about… Too many feelings… Especially since this is my last week of work in Coppet, Switzerland (the 12th) and still have no plans until the 26 and vague idea to run away to Cambodia shortly thereafter…
I love my job and don’t want to leave.. I like having a home base Monday-friday and then the ability to run off for a weekend with a small backpack instead of my big load… maybe I will shed some of my gear before I leave here…

Where to next? Should I book a flight and run away? Germany? Italy? Croatia? Ireland? Or should I hold off and hope for a couple more days of this crazy feeling of safety and happy I found with him?
But for now, I sleep.. and off to work tomorrow.. and let the days wear on and the dreams chug on and we shall see where the stars take me 🙂

“I don’t know where I’m going from here, but I promise it won’t be boring.”
~David Bowie

Wild is my Favorite Color

“Where have you been my whole life?” 
“Becoming the person you needed me to be.”
~Amanda Torrond

Day 78
Friday August 5, 2016
Coppet, Switzerland

So,
All the people I work with left to go to Zermatt, where the Matterhorn lives.
But I am here. Alone.
I just want to crawl up on the roof in the beautiful rain storm and feel the rain soak through my clothes and wait until the rain ceases and sun creeps back out and the rainbow appears.
I truly do love the rain. I sometimes wonder if I was a mermaid in my past live… And now I am a mermaid much too far from the ocean.
It may be my last weekend in Switzerland and already found a place where I want to spend my last weekend.
Tomorrow morning, I get to go back to Luzern 🙂 This time only for a little over 24 hours… Totally worth the $150 franc roundtrip train ticket. How do you go back to being strangers with someone who has seen your soul? One more night with this kindred spirit.. one more adventure to far off mountain peaks.   Whats a summer without a little love?
Travel love is its own thing. A crazy kinda thing. Indescribable… I have my other Swiss German “friend” to thank for the ability to relish this kind of craziness… I fell for him when I worked at the hostel in San Diego and he was traveling through.. After 2 weeks of flirting, we finally allowed ourselves to let it happen.. the night before he flew off to Hawaii with his friend.. but he flew back from Hawaii twice to spend time with me, in pursuit of spending time with a kindred spirit during the short time that was available and living it up for those 3 months, I thought it was crazy at first, but realized it was beautiful, the stuff of fairy tales, the stuff of a little girls dreams, we only have this one life and if you find someone you connect with, grab that opportunity and hold on and enjoy…And knowing that me and my friend in Luzern only have this little bit together, because we both have our lives on the opposite side of the world… I will enjoy the short time we have and, maybe, if it is meant to be, something will work out… but I have a story to tell and a new fire ignited in my heart and my soul frolicking, lighter than air…It doesn’t have to be complicated cuz I know its not a forever thing, just a here and now thing. It’s perfect.
Yet, at the same time, my heart is ablaze with a desire for adventure. Europe is too perfect, too pretty, too clean, too safe… especially Switzerland. It is gorgeous, pristine, surreal….  It’s beauty beyond words… straight from a fairy tale…
I need rustic. I need wild and untamed. I need a challenge. I need dirty streets and real life. I have been looking on Workaday.com for different jobs to take that would enable me to stay on one of the islands, working 5-6 hours a day in exchange for a free place to stay and sometimes meals… There are plenty of guesthouses, teepee “resorts”, “backpacker’s oasis” type places, and even an absinthe distillery. I applied to some of these, but also to some of the schools.
I have always loved children. Working closely with them, getting to know them, comfort them, hug them, make them laugh…
The kids at this summer camp blow my mind. Their families are quite well off and I hear stories of them jetting off to Paris or Cancun or the south of France or Portugal or Greek Islands on the weekends…
I want to go to the kids that have nothing. I want to go back to the basics. I want to see their smiles. I want to see what makes them smile. I want to braid their hair. I want to give them hugs. I want to see where their imaginations take them. Untouched by the craziness out there.
And these places have no internet. Little to no electricity. Tiny villages. Vulnerable. In their ways, yet welcoming.
The villages with schools looking for English speaking helpers. the guesthouses and teepees. Off the grid living.
I want to learn to make REAL curry too. I want to swim in that shimmering crystal clear waters and trek through the jungle and make children laugh and hear the stories of the local families and learn how to say “love” in Khmer and bathe in the pools below waterfalls..
I need it.
I always get these crazy ideas. I pursue them… not all of the time do I actually follow through though…
And I pause and wonder, as I always do when I get these wild ideas, am I also running from something? Is that why I am making such an crazy leap?
I know when I start to fall for someone I tend to run away, sabotage everything. Is this why I feel the urge to run far, far away?  Remain unattached, unhurt, alone, my heart safe and my own.
I should continue on through Europe. I should stay on the same continent. I saved up money to come HERE anyway… And there is so much more to explore here.. but to be honest, Cambodia excites my heart moreso than any flawless place in Europe.
Cambodia is quite the detour…
But I tend to do crazy things.
And I am sure it will be hard there in Cambodia. Hard to see all the rawness around me. Scared and intimidated walking the streets alone there. And then at the hostel… I get shy at first… in terms of meeting people in hostels.. connecting with and recruiting travel buddies.. as much as I want them, I am hesitant to get too close to others… to rely too much on others.. I am much too good at being free.. unattached… but I think Cambodia is a place I might need an adventure buddy.
But I feel like I need it.
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is not think.. not wonder.. not imagine.. not obsess… Just breathe and have faith that everything will work out for the best.
Let your faith be bigger than your fear..
Stay tuned.. 😉