To infinity and beyond

Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting. 
~Peter Pan
IMG_1569

Being far away from loved ones is difficult.
It is similar, I guess, to moving all the time.
In that I am always on the move.
Always moving to the next new place by myself.
Making new friends so I am not so much by myself.
I get to know places. Find their secrets, the reason others fall in love with that city and decide to live there and move on to the next beautiful place.
I always come back though.
To people. To places.
I want so badly to connect with others. To feel with intensity.
And I do. And I fall easy for people. As friends, as more.
And then I move to the next beautiful place.
But they are still are a part of me. And I a part of them.
And every place I have been is part of who I am.
Every person that has wronged me, broken me, teased me, bullied me, hurt me has given me the fuel to carry on and prove them wrong.
Every person that believed in me has cheered me on to where I am today
Every person that I met or talked to or touched or worked with or encountered in any way… All of it… Every single person.. everything..
Thank you all.
And now I am far away from everyone and everything and sad things are happening to the people I left behind.
And I am so far. And all I can do is message them on Facebook and try to find a time that is good with both our schedules and factor in the time difference to FaceTime.
And I know that they are hurting. They are suffering. And dear ones are gone.
But I also know that what they would want most of all is for me to continue living and loving where I am. Live life to the fullest. To not cut my trip short. That’s what they would want.
Keep chasing rainbows and catching sunsets and following the moon and return to them someday with glorious stories to share.. and once again we will laugh together again.
I miss you.
I miss my brother. I still can’t believe it has been 8 years. I carry your spirit with me in my heart every day. I wish you could’ve seen this stronger side of me while you were alive. I’ve come a long way.
And you too, you know who you are.
I am here for you. Even if you aren’t with me anymore.
I will carry on for you.
To infinity and beyond.
Elephant shoes.
I suppose Ireland is now a definite 100% on my list of places to visit while over here. And I will celebrate your life. (I will even have a Guinness).
And to Edinburgh to celebrate another loved one whose not with me anymore.
And to Romania for another friend.
My heart is heavy tonight.
But tomorrow is a new day.
And sun will still rise.
And so will I.
I am one lucky girl.

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